PIC

THE TEN NEW COMMANDMENTS FOR THIS AGE

AS STREET PREACHERS WE KNOW THAT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS CAN BE JUDGMENTAL, CONVICTING, PERSONAL, NEGATIVE, CONDEMNING AND TOO BLACK AND WHITE.  SO IF I MAY QUOTE ONE OF THE WISEST PERSON IN CALIFORNIA WHO ONCE SAID “CA….CA….CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?”  

SO WHAT THINK YE STREET PREACHERS IF MAYBE WE SHOULD REVISE THE BIG TEN AND BE MORE POLITICALLY CORRECT AND LESS CONDEMNATORY?

FIRST WE MUST ABORT THE WORD “COMMANDMENTS” THAT WORD IS FULL OF MANDATE AND DEMAND.  SO OUR NEW AND SENSITIVE VERSION WILL BE THE “TEN SUGGESTIONS” 

THE REVISED TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR THIS NEW AGE

moses

#1 Thou SHALL accept everyone’s devotion to the god of their own choosing for the age of Aquarius is upon us and everyman has the right to worship what in past days was called false and for which untold millions perished in fiery wrath. In the new age of Aquarius there are no false gods only different names and religious practices leading all men, everywhere to eternal paradise. Thus saith the great and mighty prophetess of the airwaves in The gospel according to Oprah. The great prophetess has taught us that all roads lead to heaven. FYI The Rev. Billy Graham endorses this commandment in his interview with Larry King so it must be right.

#2 Thou SHALL prostrate thyself, kiss, kneel, sacrifice and pray to any image, tree, smoke and fire, animal or person of your own choosing because god is everywhere and in everything. Be ye mindful to worship the earth (GAIA) and be tolerant of everyone, except Christians.

#3 Thou SHALL cuss and spew forth blasphemes at your leisure because if it feels good do it, remember, it's all good! Also remember that your personal version of god is one that accepts all people everywhere no matter how wicked, evil or corrupt they may be and that she/he/it will not judge you for every word, thought or deed. One final thing, the Devil is not to be confused with the new age god spoken of by the prophetess Oprah, the Devil only accepts people who love and worship him alone.

#4 Everyday should be a day of rest, why work? Stay home, drink a beer, Jesus drank wine so go ahead and pop a cork! Roll a few joints, remember god made it so it must good. Get more rest, sleep in and let the government pay off your mortgage and all that credit card debt you added to your mortgage when you refinanced back in 2006! If anyone calls you gullible or a sucker, just forgive them and remember that they are confused about the way things are and have not been enligtened by the great prophetess named Oprah.

#5 Credit mother earth (GAIA) for sustaining your life, praise her and pay her homage by HOW you live your life. Obey all the do's and don'ts of environment consciousness, behave in such a way so as to limit your environmental impact and carbon footprint on your mother. Thou shall strive in every way to reduce your carbon footprint on the holy mother GAIA, change your ways so that you live a life more pleasing and compliant with the kind of lifestyle that GAIA, your mother, desires of you!

#6 Thou SHALT not hate anything, not even sin, thou shall accept and embrace all liars, fornicators, adulterers, drunkards, dope smokers, lesbians, homo sex perverts as if they were part of your immediate family. Thou shall embrace them and treat them as kind, loving, sensitive people…..always follow your heart not your head. Don't forget, they are children of God, you can see it in their lust filled eyes.

#7 Thou shall love thy neighbors wife often and even thy neighbors husband too if that's your pleasure. What’s wrong with a little loving? There’s plenty to go around, tell your spouse not to be so selfish. Tell your spouse that love makes it right and more love makes it righteous. Again, you shall love your neighbor often, and don’t forget to use protection for it is the loving thing to do.

#8 Thou shall feel free to take that which is not thy own especially from thy employer if you have a job. When thou takest that which is not thy own thou shall also not forget to burn, loot and rape the whole city, because they owe you and you have been victimized. Make a bold statement, act like a minority, shoot, loot and scoot. Its your god given right as an American citizen.

#9 Thou shall deceive, obstruct, perjure, obfuscate, cover up, twist and conceal the truth. Lie, everyone lies so why should you be any different?

#10 Thou shalt survey the land and whatever you see, shall become yours by reason of your own cupidity, lust and coveting for your neighbors goods. There is no need for you to get a job, no need to earn it. You shall demand all that your heart desires from the government and use the color of your skin or your surname as a means by which you may enrich your own estate. Remember, they owe you and you deserve it!

DON'T THINK THAT THE TEN COMMANDMENTS CAN'T CHANGE, THEY ALREADY HAVE!


Which Ten Commandments?

Protestant

Catholic

Hebrew

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
 

1. I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not have strange gods before me.
 

1. I am the Lord thy God, who brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
 

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
 

2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
 

2. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me. Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image, nor any manner of likeness, of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; Thou shalt not bow down unto them, nor serve them; for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate Me; And showing mercy unto the thousandth generation of them that love Me and keep My commandments.
 

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain: for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
 

3. Remember thou keep the Sabbath Day.
 

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh His name in vain.
 

4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
 

4. Honor thy Father and thy Mother.
 

4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work. But the seventh day is the Sabbath in honour of the Lord thy God; on it thou shalt not do any work, neither thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day, and hallowed it.
 

5. Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
 

5. Thou shalt not kill.
 

5. Honour thy father and thy mother; in order that thy days may be prolonged upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
 

6. Thou shalt not kill.
 

6. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
 

6. Thou shalt not kill.
 

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
 

7. Thou shalt not steal.
 

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
 

8. Thou shalt not steal.
 

8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
 

8. Thou shalt not steal.
 

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
 

9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife.
 

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
 

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.
 

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's goods.
 

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house; thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
 

King James Bible, issued by the American Bible Society.
 

Catholic Catechism by Peter Cardinal Gasparri, "published with Ecclesiastical approval" and bearing the imprimatur of Patrick Cardinal Hayes, Archbishop, New York. P. J. Kenedy & Sons, 1932.
 

Bloch Publishing Company, New York,