Grammy award-winning Christian artist Mandisa is opening up about her battle with depression and anxiety with the hopes of not only breaking the stigma of mental illness but also encouraging others to seek God, therapy, and support.
In her new book, Out of the Dark: My Journey Through The Shadows To Find God’s Joy, the Christian singer shares her story of overcoming suicidal thoughts, surviving sexual abuse, and coping with severe depression.
“I think there is a lot of shame surrounding depression and feeling like you are less of a Christian if it’s something that you battle with,” she told K-Love. “But as I read the Bible, I see a lot of people who I think struggled with depression, and what I see is God’s compassion.”
Mandisa’s battle with depression began after losing a close friend to breast cancer several years ago.
“My depression was rooted in disappointment with God,” she told CBN.
After isolating herself, feeling that God wasn’t happy with her reaction, the 45-year-old said she turned to the scriptures and began to see she was not alone.
“Look at Elijah, who one minute is calling down fire from heavens and defeating the prophets of Baal, and then the next moment sitting by a tree and asking God to let him die,” she told Christian Post. “And then I think about David, who is very honest throughout the Psalms about the pain he felt internally, and he was someone God called a man after His own heart.”
The season 5 American Idol finalist adds that opening up to God paved the way for healing.
“I think it really has less to do with depression and anxiety and more to do with, ‘Are you bringing it to Him? Is it something you’re talking to God about?’ Because for me, I feel His pleasure when I do so as opposed to just stuffing it down and acting like I don’t feel it,” she told the Post. “He knows I feel it, and when I bring it to Him, that opens the door to my healing in ways that I’ve never experienced before.”
Mandisa encourages people to let go of the shame tied with mental illness, get counseling, and be around a supportive community.
“I don’t want to see any more headlines of people committing suicide, and that’s what happens when it stays in our minds when we don’t want to talk about it. You start believing the lies and before you know it, it’s over. And I think the way to counteract that is to bring it out to talk to people about it,” she said.
“I don’t want people to think that I have just overcome and I’m victorious, now I’m great,” she added. “This is very much a journey that I’m still on today. But I believe that healing comes from walking in hand in hand with God.”
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